dumhaz:

• im on the bus and my 2-year-old won’t stop crying, except you just smiled at them and they did
  
• i asked you to babysit one time and now my child keeps asking when you will spend time with them again
  
• you asked me to the store with you and your child, and now my distant relative we met thinks im married with a baby 
  
• we are friends and my child’s first word was your name and im jealous but also kind of endeared
  
• you’ve been sleeping at mine because your house is being renovated and we aren’t even dating, yet every time you wake up to the baby crying and sigh, “i’ll go” i feel like we might as well be married
  
• we’ve been on a few dates and my child just asked us when we are getting married
  
• our children are in the same class and we both hate their teacher, eventually the parents’ evenings are just us competing who can call out snarkier comments
• we are the only two parents who agreed to attend the school trip (bonus: “so i guess we share this hotel room?”)
• our children are best friends….yeah
• “i’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually nevermind i agree, that shirt is horrendous”
  
• you crouched down to coo at my baby but i forgot to tell you their favorite thing to do is to play with people’s hair and now they won’t let go of you